Tuesday, February 02, 2010 . 2:22 AM
Bass for Hire
It's very disturbing to think that one day I may not be able to continue with singing.
Singing a cappella is probably the only thing I've ever been good at; although according to senior Resonance members' actions, this is probably a very arguable statement to make.
Since Aca Champs last year I've been hoping for an opportunity to join a group and make this a permanent fixture of my life. I had the chance with Blue Intentions asking me to audition but due to the possibility of joining another group (that has kind of bombed) and due to ET leaving Blue Intentions in the near future I declined the audition and now I'm regretting making that decision.
I've always questioned my ability as a bass. People come and tell me I'm good but I don't take their word for it. If I were that good, I wouldn't still be in Resonance without professional status. Groups like After 6 and EnD's Sunday leisure group have overlooked me, I think based on pure ability (or lack thereof). I wasn't even asked of my availability or interest in joining, which really sucks.
S and L told me recently that perhaps it is due to my future career (provided I pass my exams) that maybe I would not have the time to practice or perform and hence that guided their decisions somewhat, but I think that if someone is good enough to be considered to be in the group and the group really wants him/her, they would at least ask for the person's commitment level and interest. At least that's how I would work.
People have also asked me, so why don't you just form your own group then? I can't say I haven't thought of this at some point in my life or another, but I want the validation. I want the validation from people I view as experts in the field that I'm good enough to cut it at this stage, rather than forming my own group and forever questioning myself if I really am good enough.
Hence the only reason I can fathom for this situation is that I'm not good enough to cut it at the professional stage. Heh. What a morale booster: the only thing you ever thought you were good at in your life is really not something that you're good at after all.
So where does that leave you?
"You'll Never Walk Alone"
Archangel
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